You're Just Toe'n The Line

My obsession/A truckload of aggression/Came lookin’ for a friend/I ask a question/ Your messing with my head once again/Your just toe’n the line

So sang the magnificent Pride And Glory back in the mid-90s and I was musing on those lyrics this morning when I was watching the news.

As everyone who is interested in these things knows there was a vote about whether to allow a referendum on Britain’s continued membership of the EU last night.

The government – in the great scheme of things – win easily, however that doesn’t even begin to tell the full story. 81 Tories voted against the government – amounting to the biggest single rebellion by the Conservatives since 1993.

Of course, it is only symbolic, given that the government won, but it is interesting given that Conservative MP’s (and Labour – who had 19 voting for the referendum) were on a “Three-line Whip” to vote the “right” way, and yet there will still that many votes  in defiance.

MP’s were threatened too. They were told that voting the “wrong” way would mean no big Government jobs for four years, also that if their constituencies were lost in the re-drawing of boundaries they would get no help there either. Two Parliamentary Private Secretaries have left their posts this morning already.

As it was put on 5Live last night it was, for many, a weighing of conscience versus career. BBC Political Editor Nick Robinson said on his blog that on this, ideology for the rebels at least won out and this really was the final straw:   “They don't like the compromises of coalition,” he said. They don't like the frustrations of life with little prospect of promotion. And they don't like facing boundary changes, re-selections and a tight squeeze on their expenses.”

That it shouldn’t have got to this point is undeniable. Why Cameron wanted to open the old Tory wounds on Europe in such a spectacular way is anyone’s guess. He could have allowed a free vote, perhaps, given that the issue of the debate in the first place was raised by the governments own e-petition website and 100,000 people signed up asking for the chance to decide. Can it not be argued that for Cameron to then tell his MPs which way to vote is the equivalent of sticking two fingers up to the electorate?

It is easy, I guess to praise the MP’s who followed their “heart,” and indeed there was an MP this morning who said he had been voted in on anti-European ticket and as such he had to follow the wishes of his constituents. Good luck to him. But I wonder how much of that is grandstanding? Or is being an MP like any job and, basically, you do what your boss wants or else you resign? Which effectively is what happened here.

Like that lyric says Europe is very much “my obsession” for the Conservatives. But it does beg another question. Should you just, in the great face off between career and conscience, toe the line?

What is clear is that, with savage public sector cuts, rising inflation, rising unemployment and staggeringly low standards of education and healthcare, the Tories are doing what they always do and are squabbling amongst themselves about Europe.

It was ever thus.

IRRATIONAL HATRED NUMBER 1: It's A Puppet

It was when I was watching this weeks QI XL on Sunday morning that yet another irrational hatred hit me.

Leaving aside the life of a bloke with so much time on his hands that he can spend time on Sunday morning’s watching QI, it is always good to develop an intense dislike you didn’t know you had before.

The most recent QI, if you haven’t seen it, was its usually delightfully smug, whimsical piece of television except for one important difference – they had a ventriloquist on. And she’d bought her damn puppet.

The lady concerned, Nina Conti – an actress apparently, although I have to confess I hadn’t heard of her - was reasonably funny person on her own. Intelligent too, and pretty attractive, her puppet, on the other hand billed as “Gran” was Nina is not.

It has always struck me that the point of using a puppet as a comedic prop is to say things that, as an ordinary comedian you wouldn’t say, because they are rude, racist, or just plain unfunny.

In Conti’s case she went for two of three, essentially going for the rude angle, and being totally without mirth.

This, though, isn’t to denigrate Conti particularly more the genre itself. Haven’t we moved past the “ooooh you are naughty” type joke? Is there anyone who still finds it amazing that the puppet speaks? Is there anyone who can’t see their lips move?

Isn’t it about time that, rather like the “my mother-in-law” joke they were just left for the anachronism they are?

It was genuinely uncomfortable to watch and spoilt the show. It might just a personal thing, but right from Orville and whatever that monkey was called that Keith Harris also has, to Brian Connolly who gave this blog its title, to the present day I have always hated “comedians” who resorted to using puppets.

And they can read my lips when I say that..